fergie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elevator Etiquette ELEVATOR ETIQUETTE: It has come to my attention that many people do not know how to properly use an elevator in a public building. Please follow the instructions below and have a nice day. WAIT for others to exit BEFORE you get in. There is no reason to rush in front of everyone else that�s waiting. You�re all going to get there at the same time even if you get on first, so back off and let people get off the damn elevator! Only press the button for the floor you�re going to. It�s just as exciting and fun to ride the elevator for everyone else, but stopping on every floor for no reason is annoying. Do not fart in the elevator. As you travel, you may stop on other floors to pick up or drop off passengers. Please hold the door for others when they are making their way to the elevator. Someone like me will risk limb injury and physically stop the doors to get in the elevator and bitch you out for not holding the door like the rude mother fucker you are. There is no need to see just how many people will fit into an elevator if everyone lays flat against the wall, sucks in their gut and stands sideways. When you are less than an inch away from the person beside you, you�re far too close. Wait for the next elevator. No one is going to feel sorry for you if you exceed the weight limit and fall to your death, they�ll just be pissed they have to take the stairs. When you reach your floor of destination, exit. Congratulations, you have successfully used and operated a public elevator. Stay tuned for more instructions on life, such as how to breathe in and out, putting one foot in front of the other, holding hot drinking containers, and opening screw top lids. 5.29.02 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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