fergie's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

15 ways to end a conversation


JUL21.01
15 ways to end a conversation


We�ve all found ourselves in the worst of social situations: forced into conversation with someone you not only despise, but also whom you�d like to watch get slowly eaten by ants.

However, something in your internal social meter tells you not to suddenly blurt out your true desires. Doing so may mean you terminate your relationship with said person, and while you may never have to talk to them again, chances are you will see them again, especially if you run in the same social circle. This will also mean anyone that knows the two of you is going to be pulled in the middle of whatever drama arises out of not playing nice.

Who wants to make enemies anyway? You may not want to be best friends, but negativity takes so much effort. It gives you wrinkles. Besides, killing someone with kindness is even more fun than using ants.

There are a lot of shady characters out there, people who love to gossip, and those who just creep you out. Here�s how to get rid of them.

1) Wait until they are looking the other way, then run really fast

2) Excuse yourself to the restroom: �I�m about to shit myself! Will you excuse me for about 20 minutes?�

3) Just keep acting like you can�t hear what they are saying, look around a lot, then ask: �Were you still talking?� this will be followed by an uncomfortable silence, which should allow you to slip away.

4) Grab your crotch and say (if talking to a man) �Man, did you ever wish you had a pussy?� or (if female) �do you ever wish you have a big dick?� OR ask, �do you know how to get rid of jock itch?� Pretty much anything you say while grabbing your crotch is a good conversation crasher.

5) Say in a loud voice: �I�m really fucked up right now, I think I need to go throw up.� Run to bathroom and crawl out window.

6) Tell them your sore is leaking and you have to go change your bandage. (now walk with pronounced limp)

7) Faint

8) Tell them you see someone you know and will be right back.

9) Down your drink and excuse yourself to get another

10) Put your fingers to your forehead and say: �Something terrible has happened! I can feel it! Its like a thousand lights went out at once...� then walk away in a daze, rubbing forehead.

11) �Can you wait here while I see if my friend is here yet?�
(follow up if anything but yes) �NO. I will be just a minute!�

12) Go outside for a smoke (obviously only works on non smokers)

13) Make a face and say: �What? I wasn�t paying attention.�

14) Ask for the time, then say: �Shit! My AA meeting started 10 minutes ago!�

15) �It�s been real nice talking with you, but I have to get home to my cats.�

-

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

outlook
everchanging
bigcheese
patw-21
halfdevoured
GlitterQueen
cheerboi
Jackofhearts
rumblelizard
prophecyboy
boardho
perceptionss
monogatari
absolutchaos
mentalblank
cuppajoe
marn
hothead
obscuresoul
jonathan29
buddhababy
mackaj
kungfukitten
flyingnut
deformatory
pantoum
thegay
suzannadanna
gerg69
evildilara
thoughts159