Bah Humbug
My favorite part of the season is when the last minute panic eclipses any possible joy that may be derived from gift-giving. I'm saving my holiday merriment for anything in my size on the sale rack--so fuck off and get out of my way, bitches!!
Chris is a pothead
MallowBlaster: Wes!
Fergie: s'up Chris?
MallowBlaster: n/m how are you?
Fergie: good... finished with school for the fall my final final was last wed.
MallowBlaster: my last final was the Wednesday before that
Fergie: I like-a this song-ah
MallowBlaster: I can't view it or hear it
Fergie: u suck
MallowBlaster: what song is it?
Fergie: "to the Nth degree" by morningwood
MallowBlaster: cool - you know what song I love?
Fergie: ..??
MallowBlaster: "we be burnin'" by sean paul...it's fun to dance to but unfortunately it's all about pot
Fergie: that's not such a bad thing
MallowBlaster: lol, well I don't smoke it...and I don't want people to think I do
Fergie: from now on, I’m going to tell everyone you're a total pothead
Self-Checkout
Late night drug store shopping again, I stood behind two college looking chicks with a shopping cart full of crap and a confused old couple. To my left, computerized self-check-stands illuminated with a dark yellow glow, like a dim light bulb in a crack house.
Not that I hang out at crack houses, but it’s how you’d imagine the scenery.
Anyway, I scanned, then bagged my items, slid my check card into the automated teller, and went on my way. No waiting in line, no annoying or diseased looking checkout person. After giving myself quick service, I think it was the best late night drug store shopping shopping experience I've ever had.
The importance of being ernest
Perhaps it's a byproduct of taking a philosophy class this fall, but I've been, like, having some totally deep thoughts lately.
For example, here's a little quip about being true to oneself: It is in the best of all interests if you present yourself as you truly are - not for what you think others may wish of you or who you hope to be; for if you never allow someone the opportunity to love you unconditionally, then no one ever will
Something about a fire
A random late night call from Papa Fergie while grabbing some cotton balls at Tar-Gé (Target) caught us both off guard. A poor connection made his end of the conversation barely audible. Something about speed dial and a fire alarm, it was all rather rushed, and then he said he’d call back later. A curious thing struck me as I hung up. It was fairly late to hear from him, considering it was ten at night and he’s three hours ahead in central time, yet I was pretty sure he asked if he’d woken me up. Odd, I thought.
Have you seen Amber Faux?
From: rerunrun | To: Fergie
Subject: Fwd: AMBER ALERT!!!
Please read what her father says, then forward his message on
From: Fergie | To: rerunrun
You know this is a hoax from 5 years ago, right..?
From: rerunrun | To: Fergie
really? is she ok?
From: Fergie | To: rerunrun
yah, except they never found her head
|
Christmas isn’t a holiday if you don’t believe in Jesus
Embracing the holidays is a rather bittersweet ordeal each and every year, and I’m certainly not the only one ill at ease with the spiritual holocaust of the Christmas shopping season. That said, I’m not against the general sentiment of the holidays, or even certain cultural traditions, especially those that encourage positive human interaction. Ultimately, no matter who you are or what you may believe, time with friends, family, and a lot of homemade food is a good thing.
Oh, the humanity!
Fergie: OMG I wanna take a nap under my desk...
Mallowblaster: do it
Fergie: uhm... I have germ phobia, and...while our stock room is locked & sealed, the office is known to have little visitors now-n-then
Mallowblaster: you guys should do some cleaning
Fergie: we have a team of experts...they set traps & the critters poop in them
Mallowblaster: and escape?
Fergie: most of the time, droppings are the only evidence... but those sticky traps are just plain wrong. I mean, death to rodents & all that stuff, but as the name indicates, they stick to the trap, it doesn’t kill them; they end up dying of starvation…to me, that's beyond cruel
Mallowblaster: true, that would be horrible way to die
Fergie: I know! So, you have to smash them with a shovel
Fergie: because... that's the humane thing to do
© copyright Wes Ferguson
2001-2006