fergie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Someone stole my underwear Someone stole my underwear. While there are a number of experiences in my life that have left me rather dumbfounded, none have dealt with the intimate details of my sorted laundry. It was a jaw dropping, head-scratching event that will burn in my memory for at least the next fifteen minutes. The Laundry room is directly next door to my apartment, and everyone in the building leaves their clothes unattended whenever they do a wash. I feel slightly more secure because I�m so close that when two of the machines are on spin cycle it actually shakes the floor a bit in my bedroom. It�s not much of a bother. Living in La La Land, you just brush it off as a minor earthquake and go back to sleep. I generally leave my front door open when I�m doing a load, so when I took the twenty steps it takes to get to the laundry room, I was fucking shocked to discover the dryer with my clothes in it had been cleaned out. Gone. My mind was a flutter with activity. Why? Who? And...why? Should I call my missing underwear in to the police? Maybe put a sign up for missing underwear. �Last seen with dryer sheet.� What kind of person steals underwear? After surveying the room, and actually opening the dryer door a couple of times to make sure I wasn�t hallucinating, I began to piece together the events as they must have taken place. Someone else�s clothes were in the dryer beside the one I was using, and as the last known person in the room heavy suspicion was placed on this unknown individual. Cut to about an hour later, I�m standing with my laundry in my hands, confused but amused. The girlfriend of the cute guy down the hall picked up my underwear by accident, thinking it was his. I waited for someone to come back, only it was him this time, and he quickly figured what had happened. It really got me that someone might have gone through my underwear and mistaken it for his. Really? Perhaps you don�t understand my underwear collection. My thong underwear collection, with a few jockstraps and CK briefs thrown in for good measure. Clearly his girlfriend wasn�t paying attention; or if she was and could confuse my panties for her boyfriend�s then he�s a damn fag if there ever was one. He apologized after his explanation, and went back to gather my things from his place. Upon returning, his eyes danced a little looking at me and he smiled much more than before. He kept contact with me a little too long handing me the pile of clothes in his arms, and I�m pretty sure he checked out my ass on my way back into my apartment. I only know that because when I looked back to check out his after stepping inside, he was still standing there looking at me, big �ol smile on his face. Dude, don�t you have a girlfriend? 9:29 p.m. - Jan. 16, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- yea me I have so many things running through my mind right now trying to organize my life and find a new job that I have nothing to say. Except that I am so happy I've finally decided to quit working at my current job. Yea me. sometimes, you gotta just pack it up and call it quits. 8:32 p.m. - Jan. 15, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- true Sitting at my computer, staring blankly at the screen reading my email, when suddenly a little glitter pops up in a little green flashing window in the right hand corner of my view: GlitterQueen: fergie: GlitterQueen: fergie: GlitterQueen: 2:28 p.m. - Jan. 14, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Where am I, and why is everyone looking at me? Last night I went to the grocery store, and by the time I drove home I had completely forgotten all about it, somehow disconnecting from the event and leaving my bags in the car. Thus, half my purchases were spoiled the next day when I discovered them in the car. Today I threw my cell phone in the trash instead of an empty coke can. Because I've been so absent minded lately, I called my voice mail to leave myself a reminder message. After I hung up, I realized I forgot something and called again. When the system told me I had a new message, I actually thought to myself, "I wonder who called?" 10:10 p.m. - Jan. 11, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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