fergie's Diaryland Diary
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timeline
fergie 2003: 
fergie 2033: 
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Live Fast, Die Pretty
Sadly, going back and reading this week�s entries has forced me to realize that in thirty years I�m going to be one of those tragic, surgically manipulated queens still hanging on to their twenties for dear life; Botox, lip injections, maybe some liposuction and a little work around the eyes. A nose job, forehead tightening, pec implant, knee tuck, butt lift, and some skin resurfacing, for starters anyway. Just to test the waters.
My vanity will end up snatching my face back to impossibly tight proportions, I�ll have that strangely alien shape to my cheekbones, which will be accentuated by plastic bumps grafted under my skin. Not that it matters, because by then I�ll be so addicted to painkillers from all the procedures I won�t be able to tell the difference.
I think I�d rather stick with my mantra: Live Fast, Die Pretty.
2:12 a.m. - Apr. 09, 2003
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convo
fergie: so I�ll be turning 25 again this year.
Mr. B: why? 27 is a good age, it�s still far from 30.
fergie: we�re not discussing thirty. I won�t mind 27. In two years.
Mr. B: because you�re turning 25 this year.
fergie: exactly. Then maybe I�ll hold at 27.
Mr. B: That sounds like a good plan. G-d, my younger brother turned 25 this year
fergie: don�t even get me started. My little brother turned 20.
Mr. B: wait till he turns 25.
fergie: I�ll be like, that�s impossible, I�m only 27!
5:39 p.m. - Apr. 08, 2003
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TwentyFive
Today being my birthday, two spam mails were in my inbox - one reading "fergie, be young" and the other told me to "return to my youth."
That is just creepy.
Why do spam people know my birthday and play on the supposed concerns of getting older? However, I've already got them beat and am returning to my youth in my own way.
This year, instead of going up, I�m going down. At twenty-six, I�ve decided to stall the aging process and step back down to twenty-five.
This started as a joke between my best friend and I, the lovely Glitter Queen. Though we are only a month apart, it is my duty to remind her she is that one month OLDER than me, that she will always be OLDER than me, and I will never be as OLD as her. So the slick girl devised a way to take control of the situation, and I follow in her lead. Back to Twenty-five, and holding.
What does it mean for us, exactly, to have the power to turn back time? We're not g-d like or anything, just fabulous. Well, fabulous liars. You must be able to look someone dead in the eye and say you're 25 with the conviction of a death row inmate that admits to the crime. Find this trick in the chapter titled "I am 25" in your diva handbook.
3:13 p.m. - Apr. 07, 2003
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