fergie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- graduation day
but dammit if my little brother graduating doesn't make me feel my full age. the first thing that came to mind was that my older brother and i used to drive him to school and drop him off at the elementary building. little fucker. hello clock. tick tick tick... but it's all good, now the 3 of us are all on the same playing field. i am 7 years older than him, our older brother 3 years my senior. while we are all at different stages (the oldest is married with children), we are all adults now, out in the world and making our way. it's nice really, as i feel i have not gotten to know my little bro as well since i have been out of the house (and out of the state) since he was a little kid. now, we have much more in common, which, in turn, will make us closer. sometimes i feel as though i have turned my back on my family by moving so far away. then i remember how bored i was here in o-hi-o. as much as i love them, i have to live my own life and follow my own path. now my mission is to get my brothers to move out to cali. selfish? maybe. or maybe i see how my life has changed because of things i would've never experienced by staying in the same place all my life. maybe i want the same for them. no matter how much i miss my family, moving back would be going backwards, and i'm all about moving forward. if i happen to take a few people with me in the process, all the better. they have their own lives, and have to make their own choices. what is good for me might not be good for them. i can accept that, so i have to accept the fact that moving forward for me meant leaving the mid-west. therefore i also have to accept that i may always be apart from my brothers, and just visit when i need reminding of how far i have come. - ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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