fergie's Diaryland
Diary
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Oct.06
Finally Halloween! The one day of the year it's OK to take candy from strangers The best part of any holiday is the sugar rush
12:21 a.m. - Oct. 31, 2006
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celeb costumes
In need of a last minute Halloween costume? Spoof somebody famous with these celebrity costume ideas
12:21 a.m. - Oct. 28, 2006
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yay excited
Yay excited for Halloweenie Going as a fallen angel this year Halloween devil Wes Not to be confused with regular devil Wes This is absolutely my favorite holiday More pictures coming soon
7:31 p.m. - Oct. 26, 2006
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free pizza
Free pizza My dental cleaning left me in need of comfort food Hygienist was rather clumsy And the little suction thing nearly choked me to death Several times All I really wanted was some pizza and a beer So butch, I know Pizza place lost my order Like most days I'd been up since 4 a.m. And wasn't in the mood Long story short, I got a free pizza So it all worked out rather in my favor
8:22 p.m. - Oct. 25, 2006
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breakthrough
Major breakthrough today Performed manly man car task Been having trouble with my coolant level There is a leak And the light keeps bleeping Bought some coolant Didn't know where to put it Pulled over half way home instead of feeling defeated Read the car manual Administered needed fluids myself at a parking meter just off Melrose Felt a major sense of accomplishment 'Ta-dah!' exclaimed I A woman who was stopped at the light applauded She understood We both laughed and went about on our way
6:34 p.m. - Oct. 23, 2006
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words of wisdom
Totally on the rag this week I'm often inspired by the words of others Thought I'd share some wisdom rather than spread my funk "I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision." -Eleanor Roosevelt
"When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about." -Albert Einstein "A witty saying proves nothing." -Voltaire
9:02 p.m. - Oct. 20, 2006
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self-fulfilling prophecy
6:12 p.m. - Oct. 16, 2006
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friggin' trisha dick phobia
Obscure word knowlegde is fun on Friday the 13th Friggatriskaidekaphobia Frig-ga-triskai-dek-a-phobia Not to be confused with Frigging Trisha Dick Phobia Totally different
5:00 p.m. - Oct. 13, 2006
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Fat Day
Felt bloated all day Wearing really cute but very tight jeans didn't help matters Very uncomfortable throughout this afternoon Roscoe's chicken and waffles for lunch added a layer of grease to the mix But nobody wanted to hear about my "fat day" Skinny bitches can't complain Turned out I just need to take a massive crap
5:10 p.m. - Oct. 12, 2006
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laughter yoga
Watching "Laughter Yoga" on Megan Mullally This has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen Thought it was a joke segment But it's for real Of course it has a website An entire industry dedicated to laughing while doing yoga If my site is a spoof on inane popular culture Laughter yoga is a true life example
4:20 p.m. - Oct. 11, 2006
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emergency can do
Ran out of gas this morning on my way to work Never done that before Totally sucked Discovered not all service stations carry those red one-gallon gas cans Quite a disappointment Finally got poor little Farfegnugen running and filled her up Although I'll never let that happen again, I have the emergency can in case it does
6:12 p.m. - Oct. 10, 2006
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wknd update
Friday was a repeat of social flurry Took the rest of the weekend off the social scene Traded up for movie night Spent an afternoon goofing around with girlfriends Both proved more rewarding
5:10 p.m. - Oct. 9, 2006
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sick day
Got sent home early from work today Don't have the energy to look cute when I'm sick The contrast from my usual perfectly primped appearance scares people Kind of like seeing a drag queen without makeup Parking spot vulture waited for my space on the way out Guy behind her couldn't wait and sped around Nearly backed into him He honked like it was my fault I cursed him loudly But my window was up and he'd already passed The rest of this morning is all about cozy clothes and comfort foods And dosing over-the-counter meds
8:55 a.m. - Oct. 05, 2006
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celebitchfight
Celebrity Bitchfight There are some people who prove the following: No matter how how rich or famous, you can still be white trash
4:20 p.m. - Oct. 04, 2006
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Oct.06
Weekend was a blur, but a very good one The car I just bought needs several minor repairs Not too happy about that part Did massive laundry yesterday OK more like two loads but it felt like a lot Very tired and run down feelinig Think I'm getting sick I blame co-workers And not running from party to party after-hours
4:56 p.m. - Oct. 03, 2006
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Oct.06
7:21 p.m. - Oct. 01, 2006
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