fergie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it's all the same fucking day, man The end of the calendar year is always so damn dramatic. I�m with Janis, "it�s all the same fucking day, man!" Still, good enough reason to get trashed. 12:52 p.m. - Dec. 31, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- honest mistake I wonder if, just by chance, that other Fergie from Black Ice Please has been getting my fan mail. I�m only curious because I�ve received a couple of emails from confused teenagers professing their love for my vocal stylings. I wrote back to thank them, but just didn�t have the heart to explain that they�ve confused some pop icon of the moment with a sarcastic queer in Los Angeles. It�s an honest mistake. When I�m wearing my cell phone headset and catch myself in a mirror, even I get confused sometimes. 3:21 a.m. - Dec. 28, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Crap-crap-crappity Shit! Crap-crap-crappity! I thought today was Friday. Damn. This week cannot end soon enough. To top it off, the limo's in the shop. I actually had to drive myself to the office this morning, before noon. If it wasn't for mom's homemade peanut butter cookies I received in the mail today, I never would have been able to handle the horror of realizing it's only the day before xmas eve. 9:25 a.m. - Dec. 23, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i got nothing I Got Nothing Really pressed for an anecdote this week. Haven�t had time to think of anything funny. The holiday retail season swept me up and sucked me dry. One more week before I can die. For now, I�m going to bed. 7:54 p.m. - Dec. 15, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monday the 13th Monday the 13th Garfield hated Mondays. Why, I don�t know. Cats can�t even tell time, let alone what day it is. 2:07 a.m. - Dec. 13, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sick & fun Sick & Fun The Darwin Awards are way more fun if you play along. I send my nominations anonymously, ever aware of the irony of the situation, as I may very well end up on the list some day soon. 5:45 p.m. - Dec. 10, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- cleverer 'Happy Holidays' seems so trite. I promise to come up with something cleverer next year. 11:12 a.m. - Dec. 09, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Live by the sword, die by the sword Live by the sword, die by the sword. "The time of war is a time of sacrifice, especially for our military families," Bush said today, wearing a tan military jacket with epaulets. "I urge every American to find some way to thank our military and to help out the military family down the street." First of all, no. As I do not believe in what the troops are doing in Iraq, I cannot support them. They made their choice, enlisted, and the majority of them voted to reelect the man sending them into battle. They are willing participants. Now they can deal with it, missing limbs and all. The only way I�d support anyone in the armed services is if they quit their active duty. Second, government leaders who make public appearances in military garb have been historically evil. Castro. Saddam. Hitler. Not a direct comparison, just an observation. Lastly, there�s a growing population that feels Bush fits into the category suggested above. How do you think people in the states would react to being liberated from his control by a foreign army? You may be right in principle, but you cannot prove it by force. 7:37 p.m. - Dec. 07, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I prefer nightmares I prefer nightmares. I snapped awake at 5am this morning with my DMV renewal burning in my forehead. I stashed it somewhere months ago when I received the bill, because really, having to buy a tiny sticker that somehow magically renews previously paid for license plates using color-coding is just plain silly. Being forced to display a state approved identification number isn�t a public service. Like everything else, it�s about money. Yours, mine, basically anyone who can make a check payable to insert-government-agency-here. In itself, the privilege of being able to operate an automobile comes with a price tag. Beyond the initial paperwork and fees associated with processing those forms, individuals who are permitted to drive must continue to renew licenses and registrations they�ve already paid for. I�m not sure where I�m going with this, because I know, in theory, there�s supposed to be some sort of logic to it. I remain skeptical. All I�m saying is that I don�t have to re-register other things I�ve already purchased, like my coffeemaker. It�s solely my prerogative to use Mr. Coffee as long as I want without penalty by law. No special label on the back to certify its function. I bought it, it�s mine, I�m allowed to use it everyday or loan it to friends if I so choose. The DMV received payment for issuing me a driver�s permit, my car + tax is paid for, the tags were purchased and registered with the car, everything was invoiced and I wrote checks to cover it. Now I should be done until I buy another car. It�s stupid, everyone knows it, the DMV knows it. That�s why they send the renewal bill six months early. Everyone blows it off because it�s a ridiculous principle. We all know we have to pay eventually anyway, no matter how many angry monologues the subject may inspire, but the due date seems so far away it�s much more satisfying to ignore it. Until one night sleep is suddenly and irreversibly lost when the realization hits that the payment was due two months ago. Adding further sickness to the situation, the DMV has provided an increased fee chart for late renewals as part of the original bill. I don�t just despise those bastards with all my heart; even my hair hates the DMV. 1:53 p.m. - Dec. 07, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- shopping, still the answer More people believe in Santa Claus than Christ. The upcoming holiday proves my theory. Shopping is the answer, not Jesus. 1:20 a.m. - Dec. 06, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- who says material possesions are overrated? Where�s My Flying Car? It's in the shop. With your jet, dear. Holy shit! GlitterQueen got me a flying car for xmas! Begging, screaming, and generally being a spoiled brat pays off. And here I thought she'd never top the little baby penguin she gave me last year. 3:12 p.m. - Dec. 04, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gilmore Girls is a really good show Gilmore Girls is a really good show. "Oy!" The Whore beckoned from the main room. "Whhatt?!" I retorted, in my worst, yet proper English accent. "You left the fridge open." Previously, I�d been kicked out of the common area because the deep seeded dynamics of Rory�s relationship with Paris were being played out on a latter episode of the "Gilmore Girls" first season. As I hadn�t been planted in front of the TV watching the newly released DVD series all night, a certain party took issue with my rubbernecking the middle of the second disk while I raided our now rather mini-kitchen for some nibbles. "I had the munchies, like, twenty minutes ago." -Pause- "Yes, it's been open since then but I didn't notice. It...was a very enthralling episode." Bastard. As if I wasn�t already super-excited about getting some time to watch it this weekend. If he lends it out before I get to see the complete season, I�ll cut off his head and use it as a punch bowl. 11:26 p.m. - Dec. 02, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dec. 04 Holy Shit It's Almost 2005 Some things take forever, like waiting in line at the bank. Even waiting in line for an ATM at the bank. Then suddenly, crash-boom-bang, it's the freaking space-age. I want to know something. Where's my flying car? 8:57 p.m. - Dec. 01, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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