fergie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- uh let's just wrap this mess up I guess everyone feels like an outsider or misunderstood at some point. Many of us still do. All my life I've felt like I was alone. As I've grown and reached out to others, I know that I have connections with many people on many different levels, and I may be far away from my family but they are close to my heart. Even so, I still feel like a lone cowboy set on his own path. With a really big, uh, horse between my legs. I don't know if the world understands me, and I stopped looking for validation. I know some people get me, others never will. It doesn't make them bad or stupid or somehow inferior to me. Except of course for the religious militants out there who give G-d a bad name by spreading hate. Those people are crazy fucks and should be shot on the spot. But, I digress. Crap like prom and boring stuff I never cared about, well, those weren't things I wanted to have as those "landmark" life memories, like your first date, graduation, etc. So it wasn't prom, but a gay club that I went to that night. Oh yes. She was a dancing queen, and only 17! My prom had a disco ball, tight jeans, and a blowjob in the bathroom. There are gay cowboys, you know. 7:47 p.m. - May. 22, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- something in common I have no idea why I even brought up the whole prom thing. I honestly felt that because I was gay I had nothing in common with any of the seventy-four mid-western, white bred, blue-collar classmates I graduated with. Aside from the fact that I was a white, middle class kid living in the bible belt. 1:21 a.m. - May. 22, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- prom I never went to prom. I knew I was gay before my junior year, and had no intensions of going with a girl or by myself. I mean, I wanted to make a statement. Only I never did either, make a statement or go to prom. I doubt not going said anything, except maybe "I don't want to have anything to do with you people." That was enough for me. 8:58 p.m. - May. 20, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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